Tuesday, June 26, 2012

1 Corinthians 13

New International Version (NIV)
13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part,10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

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Monday, June 25, 2012

"True Love"

I have been catching up on the BBC improvised drama series 'True Love' and thought I should write about it because it is honestly one of the best things I have seen on TV for a long time. It explores themes of temptation, morals, impulses, passion and love (of course!). Warning, there are some SPOILERS!

The series, directed by Dominic Savage and set in Margate, focuses on individual characters and their romantic/sometimes not so romantic ties. The setting allows for some beautiful moments on the beach which really isn't as much of a cliché as it sounds and some really stunning portrait style shots of the characters. There is also wonderful use of music to fill moments of reflection. The improvisation aspect of the programme reminds me of the convincingness of 'Outnumbered' but in a whole new context. (On a side note, I have realised that Martha Costello/Maxine Peake from 'Silk' and Karen/Ramona Marquez from 'Outnumbered' in fact have very similar traits and quirks.) 

The stories make you aware of very real human emotions and surprise you with who you might end up supporting. It highlights how something quite unconventional, shocking or controversial is maybe what someone else wants more than anything in the world and makes you question whether you can judge anybody for what they do. At the end of the day, we all have reasons.

Viewers also observe the consequences of impulsive decisions - not always for the worse either. In Episode One, the family unit we are introduced to versus the return of the long lost love of the husband's life brought the title of the series to the forefront of my mind. Initially, I felt absolutely terrible about the husband sneaking around to see his ex-girlfriend who had taken off without explanation years ago. What a devastating situation for the wife obviously. But what the programme makes you realise is that where there might be injustice on the surface, it might be the role of fate kicking in. Does true love conquer all? It would seem so in this case but as the character was a relatively sensible one, emotions had to be set aside.

By putting trust in others and trusting sober emotions, some heart-warming decisions were made throughout the series. My favourite episode was Episode Four 'Sandra' where the protagonist is a mother whose youngest daughter has left home. She is left feeling unwanted in her maternal role and unloved in her marriage. Sandra's husband (we learn in Episode Three) was, unbeknown to her, having an affair and as an onlooker, I think the main emotion I felt towards her character was one of pity. It was a shame that her marriage had lost its spark and that they lived in a lovely home that had had its charm sucked out of it because of their dullness and indifference. You end up feeling so sorry about the awkwardness of their attempt to have meals together etc that you start to wonder whether they were ever actually suited in the first place. When karma came around and the cheating husband (by this point dumped by his girlfriend who fell in love with her female student...see Episode 3...!) finds out that Sandra has met another man, we witness the crushing effect it has on him and how it makes him try so much harder. On the flip side, Sandra's chance meeting with a kind Turkish man was the best thing that could have happened to her. He charmed her in a somewhat platonic way (to our knowledge anyway!) and made her realise that she can take control of her life. Each episode shows a way in which such control can be taken and in Sandra's case she packs her bags and gives some meaning to her existence again. Good for her! Great episode and not only because Mumford & Sons songs were used ;)

The improvisation worked incredibly well in my opinion. The awkwardness and tension felt between the characters really translates well through this approach. I thought the actors/actresses were very convincing. The cast included familiar faces such as David Tennant, Billie Piper and Kaya Scodelario, but my favourite performance was that by David Morrissey in the final episode. It is always special when you can identify with a situation.

If you click HERE, you can gain some insight to how the series was filmed.

A stunningly genuine piece of television all round, which I would highly recommend.
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Saturday, June 23, 2012

hospital fun

I finally had my first physiotherapy appointment on Friday. Last month when I was in for my longer stint in hospital I was seen by a couple of physios who gave me exercises to do in bed to help my back pain. This time I was an outpatient and a lot more mobile. I still haven't been able to wear a shoe on my bad foot so I have taken to wearing my favourite patterned sock (which never quite matches my outfit) over my full-length compression stocking (really really attractive..). This has reduced the hopping! I did a fair bit of walking from one side of the hospital to the other which has made me realise that Willy Wonka probably did have a point when he installed the side-ways function in his glass elevator. As I hobbled across the car park, a man who actually looked like a character from the original Willy Wonka film offered some words of advice - "That looks very unstable. Be careful!" - which was nice of him. It was about 35 minutes before my physiotherapist introduced herself once I'd got to the waiting room and filled in all the forms about why I was there, what I usually do, what I would like to achieve and why I have pain etc etc etc. These questions were all discussed during the appointment too and an extra sheet of paper had to be found so that the physio could write down everything that had happened. Once the initial assessment was over, my back movement was observed as I rolled my shoulders in and out, leant from side to side and pushed my hands against surfaces. My movement was good apparently and the problem was more one of deconditioning. Then, she looked at my walking. First with both crutches, then with one and thennnnn I was given a new toy - a STICK. This was a very wobbly experience and I can't say I enjoyed it all that much but for now it is just to try around the house because long-term dependence on crutches is not ideal. Having practised for a day now, it seems like something I could get used to and does make me feel a little freer, if a bit elderly with a super shaky hand. I am to return in a few weeks time to concentrate on my hip but hopefully I will be doing even better by then :) Trekking to the other side of the hospital was slow but I reached the clinic in the end and it was really nice because all the nurses seemed so happy to see that I was out of the wheelchair. In the evening, I had a lovely Indian takeaway with Mike's family which was yummmmmmmy and what I had been craving all week. I am hoping to make it to a restaurant sometime in the near future!

I have just found out that the gathering Camelia is attending this evening was actually a surprise birthday party for her! This makes me so happy :) Roxana's 'robber' fancy dress costume today, complete with balaclava, has also made my day <3

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Yesterday was the longest day of the year - this is how light it was at 9:40pm
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Thursday, June 21, 2012


This morning I spent some time sorting through bits and bobs that I have brought back from uni, including far too much jewellery and many drawings of zoo animals! I am constantly berated by many a family member/friend for hoarding all sorts of useless things like train tickets and buttons  (I collect them, ok!!) but I have realised that I will have to part from a lot of of them. Getting rid of jewellery is strangely tough and anything that has been bought for me by anyone, ever, will be staying firmly in one of my many 'keep' boxes. I tried to get rid of a few of these but the guilt was terrible so I still need to work on my 'charity shop' pile. I loved finding little pieces that I had forgotten about and kind of look forward to rediscovering them in years to come :)

In other news, I have just read a very interesting article by Simon Childs on the aftermath of last year's Dale Farm controversy. Click HERE to have a look. Great piece of journalism in my opinion.

I am getting used to reading again so have started with 'Dream Psychology' by Freud, as suggested in response to wanting to decode my dreams. I have also started doing training contract applications which keep me busy busy busy.

Listening to:

I am looking forward to my weekend plans and also finallyyyyyyyy having some physiotherapy tomorrow morning. My sisters will also have finished their A Levels this weekend so I can't wait to treat them next week if my condition is as steady as it has been :) excitedddd
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Monday, June 18, 2012


I am pleased to report that I have ticked off another thing off my list! On Saturday, I saw my uni friends in Southampton. It was my first proper day trip and it was so great to be able to do something that I really have missed. It was a pretty emotional day saying goodbye to the house but also AMAZING to see the girls again and I will always look back fondly on my time at Spring Crescent.

Today, I have been exceptionally lucky to have a visit from Laura all the way from Salisbury which was so lovely. I had a luxurious little trip to the Derby Arms, on the Epsom Downs, and loved being able to sit outside in the sunshine for a bit. I am excited about life today :)

This evening, I am going to try and do some uni work with Bon Iver and Beirut as my soundtrack. I am also excited about seeing Beirut in September.

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Saturday, June 16, 2012


I'm so happy for all my friends who found out their amazing degree results today. Congratulations to you all :)  I'm so pleased that all your hard work paid off. I also found out that I got 68 for my dissertation which was a nice surprise because I wasn't sure I would even get any grades back today. 

Last night I stayed up for hours trying to write a research proposal for postgraduate study and finally put the laptop away at 3am but couldn't sleep til 5am. I could see daylight creeping in through the blinds and however hard I tried, I just couldn't find a comfortable position. I then woke up at 9 and couldn't fall asleep again so decided to just have breakfast, drink some coffee and get on with all the tasks I had assigned for the day. 

For the past however many weeks, I haven't really enjoyed having a to-do list for each day because it was too difficult to achieve the things I wanted to and I would feel stressed that I couldn't do ordinary things like have a shower whenever I wanted or sit in the kitchen to eat dinner instead of in bed. I find that going by how I am feeling is a good plan short-term but as this is almost becoming chronic, I have been encouraged to try things regardless of whether I think I can do it or not.

Today was a great example of this and as silly as it sounds I am quite proud of how much I achieved so that's my happy thought of the day. Setting tiny targets is a good way to start reaching out to the bigger ones I think. That's how it felt doing my research proposal I suppose. I sincerely doubt anything will happen with this application as I cannot afford to do it in the next academic year unless I obtain a studentship but I feel like I have broken a bit of a barrier through challenging myself and attempting it. I also needed to send off bits and bobs for my vacation scheme and finishing that was very satisfying, as basic as it sounds, as I knew it would lead to something worthwhile.

Finally, most exciting of all - drum roll please - I am now able to tick off one thing from my to-do list that I posted a few days ago.....I finally had a haircut!

Well done everyone again xxxxxxx

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Friday, June 15, 2012

Today's little special bits

- yummy lunch courtesy of mummy
- venturing out of the house...to go to the dentist haha
- Ellie and Emma visiting me and adding trips to nandos, wagamama and the harvester as well as a safari park visit to my to-do list :)
- I did a lot of law related writing for the first time in ages
- Barbie coloured nails for a little bit of fun
- wearing new jewellery from mummy
- photos from Cathy of the animals at Marwell zoo

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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

To-do list for when I can walk

I visited my GP yesterday to try and find a solution for all the nausea, headaches and general pain I've recently had and all my medication has been changed so hopefully I can be up and about soon. A month ago I started making a to-do list for when I am able to walk again. I thought I'd share it so I know they definitely have to happen to avoid embarrassment!

Wish list/plan for when I can walk

- visit the out of focus exhibition at the saatchi gallery (sloane sq/Victoria/til 22.7)

- get a haircut

- do line judge training

- go on holiday with Michael, my friends and my family

- treat mummy to a belated bday present/day out

- revise for finals and aim for a first

- go swimming

- earn some money

- see my uni friends

- visit penningtons

- do race for life, even with crutches

- river cruise

- tsol vacation scheme

I know that one of those in particular can't happen as I won't be well enough in time but before all this started I had planned on running Race for life. Hopefully I will be able to this time next year :)

The thames river cruise was a birthday present last year and it needs to be used by August! Once I get through my vac scheme, I am hoping I'll be able to do anything at all :)

Last night it was Southampton's graduation ball and Cathy said it was amazing so I'm really pleased she had a good time :) I didn't have Pixie Lott (although I did help Camelia revise for geography and it has recently been brought to my attention that she looks like an Iranian Pixie Lott) but instead I got out of bed for a couple of minutes and made Michael pose for an alternative grad ball photo haha. I even put on one high heel to mark the occasion, especially as mike was dressed so smartly having been a busy businessman in the day :)

At the moment I am lying outside which is a wonderful change of scenery and spending the afternoon with my lovely mummy <3 that's made my day already :)

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Monday, June 11, 2012

Monday morning

Fickleness is really annoying and really lets people down.

In other news, I made a list 28 days ago of things I would like to do when I can walk again but none of them seem very possible yet. However, a few of my lovely friends have come up with wonderful ideas including a sleepover and a picnic in the park which I think might be more practical now :)

Also, yesterday I came across two photographs I took in london when I was around 16 years old and mike suggested I send them to someone because he thought they were impressive. Now I don't know know if they are worth anything in any way but does anybody have any ideas of people/places that might be interested? One is of the city's skyline and river and the other is outside the national theatre. I can provide scans if anyone would like to see them.

Have a happy Monday xx

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Saturday, June 09, 2012


Today was an amazing day in so many respects. I think I was running on adrenaline for most of it and for the first time in weeks I have felt genuinely content. I hope this doesn't jinx it but I'll cherish the memories at least. Carpe diem. Happy silver wedding anniversary mum and dad and happy 18th roxy and millie xxxxxx

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Tuesday, June 05, 2012

the best catch up :)

Today I was overwhelmed with the kindness of Miriam, Surekha and Sive who trekked over from the other side of London to see me this afternoon. It was so lovely to be reunited with them and I hope to be friends with them for many many years to come. I wish I had taken a photo with them today! They have said they will take me out so I can wear my nice new dresses once I am a bit better....could be interesting on crutches! :) <3
Christmas Law Ball 2011

                     Miriam's Surprise Birthday Party 2010

 Christmas Law Ball 2009

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Monday, June 04, 2012

jubilee weekend

The Apprentice final was average really. The penultimate Desperate Housewives episode was much much more exciting. I even shed a few tears at the end because what I have been rooting for all series finally happened and my faith in humanity and love is once again restored wooooohooooooooo.

I'm not sure how well known this is as I haven't been keeping up-to-date with the music world at all recently but this collaboration is unexpectedly nice!

Kanye West ft Bon Iver - Lost in the World

So far today I have practised bearing weight on the bad leg and attempted balloon modelling. The latter was a far less successful exercise. I wish I could join in with the Jubilee celebrations but the music channels and Mike's company are a perfect alternative really :)

UPDATE: I have just walked my first few steps in two months!! Although I am so worn out and in pain now, I am really happy because I managed to take about 4 steps without bearing weight on my crutches. Probably the most progress I have made so far. Yipppeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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Sunday, June 03, 2012

Just caught up on The Voice which is the best talent show on TV by a mile. I really love it! Now about to watch the final of The Apprentice. There probably won't be another time in my life where I will watch as much television as I have done in the last couple of months so it is best I get it all out of my system now and be more productive soon :)

Bo Bruce - Charlie Brown

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Friday, June 01, 2012

In all honesty, I haven't really felt happy to write about anything in particular today.
If I could wish for everyone's problems around me to disappear then I really really would.
Also, does anyone know of any books that decode your dreams?

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