I can't write. I've tried and I've tried but I can't do it at the moment. Not in the way I would like to anyhow. Not even one of my Taking Stock posts. Tiredness, distraction by other things, not enough reading, not enough imagining.
I've tried to put together pieces for this blog, I miss writing and I miss the cathartic value of putting pen to paper. I miss stringing together words in sentences which don't sound basic. I miss having something to say. I miss knowing my tone and voice.
My routine is a tiring one, fulfilling in many ways, but harsh on other passions like this, like reading, like writing, like yoga. In this adjustment phase, each day is a single-lane road, my body exhausted and mind consumed. I'm not unhappy, I'm just not exploring much in the way that I used to. I'm unhappy about that but I'm working on it. I never put pressure on myself to post on here, I only ever did when there was something within me that could not be still. The words would spill out without even trying. So why should I worry about this inability to convey now? Is it just not the right time or place? Is this the end of my run here? Quite simply, it is unsettling because I have a hundred thoughts I want to share, and thousands of feelings that won't quieten til they're out, but no tool to paint them with.
Writing fluidly comes with practice, so step one is this post - not least because it doesn't sound exactly how I would like it to. Step two will be picking up a book and starting there. I do believe that to be able to write, you must first read. Step three might come from your advice if you have any.
Thanks for bearing with me during the radio silence. I hope to be back properly soon.
Welcome back Beeta... I just know that adjusting to a whole new life does take a bit longer be patient... new inspirations on their way.... "Writers always Writers"
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Welcome back! I sometimes feel uninspired to write creatively but the more I do it the more I want to. Although it sometimes helps to have a break and take a step back, life just gets in the way sometimes. x
ReplyDeletewe have missed your words and again you have worded it in a way that is beautiful to read. I really don't think you should worry, your a natural when it comes to writing and when you least expect it, without trying it, it will all come spilling out. treat yourself to a new notebook, and write down ideas and thoughts during your breaks, before bed. :) hope you are well. xx
ReplyDeleteWelcome back, Bee! Missed you. I have been feeling similar lately, which explains my silence in answering your texts, I'm sure too! ;-) I think this was beautifully worded, sometimes we are too hard on ourselves - but I know the feeling all too well and it's hard to be objective when the words you want to write don't appear, even if the ones you do write are just fine anyhow. I think big life changes can leave us speechless too - you've been through such a hectic and exciting transition, it's to be expected probably. I don't know - either way, looking forward to welcoming your posts back whenever you feel like writing again :) xx
ReplyDeleteI seldom have anything to way but I do it anyway, because I have to.
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