Last night I stayed up for hours trying to write a research proposal for postgraduate study and finally put the laptop away at 3am but couldn't sleep til 5am. I could see daylight creeping in through the blinds and however hard I tried, I just couldn't find a comfortable position. I then woke up at 9 and couldn't fall asleep again so decided to just have breakfast, drink some coffee and get on with all the tasks I had assigned for the day.
For the past however many weeks, I haven't really enjoyed having a to-do list for each day because it was too difficult to achieve the things I wanted to and I would feel stressed that I couldn't do ordinary things like have a shower whenever I wanted or sit in the kitchen to eat dinner instead of in bed. I find that going by how I am feeling is a good plan short-term but as this is almost becoming chronic, I have been encouraged to try things regardless of whether I think I can do it or not.
Today was a great example of this and as silly as it sounds I am quite proud of how much I achieved so that's my happy thought of the day. Setting tiny targets is a good way to start reaching out to the bigger ones I think. That's how it felt doing my research proposal I suppose. I sincerely doubt anything will happen with this application as I cannot afford to do it in the next academic year unless I obtain a studentship but I feel like I have broken a bit of a barrier through challenging myself and attempting it. I also needed to send off bits and bobs for my vacation scheme and finishing that was very satisfying, as basic as it sounds, as I knew it would lead to something worthwhile.
Finally, most exciting of all - drum roll please - I am now able to tick off one thing from my to-do list that I posted a few days ago.....I finally had a haircut!
Well done everyone again xxxxxxx