Wednesday, August 14, 2013


Today two things happened. I did something that scares me, and I realised something that worries me. Both made me feel silly. I'll tackle them in reverse order because I'm feeling contrary. 

Worry: Sometimes, particularly in instances where I'm trying to convey how amazing something is or explain something that I really care about, the thoughts in my head won't translate as aptly as they should when I speak. It's like the thoughts aren't linked to actual words and instead take the shape of squiggles, patterns and an overwhelming sense of emotion which eats up my words. It makes me feel so silly and like I am not fluent in my own language, which is scary really. I was trying to explain how good a book I was recently reading is to my friend today and I just could not sell it as well as I wanted to be able to. I must admit that I find writing a lot easier than talking a lot of the time. Is that why people text lots instead of call? My thoughts are a lot more fluid when I try and get them out on paper. It's like I spend so long thinking about them in my own head that they don't really belong outside of my head and just live there. Does this happen to anybody else?

Scary thing: I went to a Zumba class. Now if you don't know me in person, you need to be aware that I am somewhat lacking in grace when it comes to movement beyond walking, particularly now much more than before, so why I thought this was a good idea is beyond me. I have tripped over air before. I hate dancing in general, even after a few cocktails, so doing this in front of OTHER PEOPLE, COMPLETELY SOBER and IN FRONT OF A MIRROR was hideous!! I couldn't coordinate my legs very well at all for all the fancy footwork and felt so silly next to the other girls in the class who were definitely regulars! The girl who took the class was amazing and I felt embarrassed that she probably wasn't dissimilar in age to me yet could move brilliantly! I don't really believe in wishing you were somebody else because nobody's life is perfect and you should embrace your own etc etc, but for those 45 minutes in that class, I felt like I NEEDED to be this girl! All hope of moving half as well as she does was abandoned every time I caught sight of myself in the mirror however. Blahhh. One thing that was amazing about the class though which kind of makes up for it being so embarrassing is the fact that I smiled and laughed the whole way through it and for that reason, I would 100% recommend it to every single one of you. It is literally hilarious and a wonderful way to get fit. And nobody is really looking at you at all, however silly you look, so I think I might go back :)

P.S. Kitten photos coming soon! Watch this space... :)

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